demonicbookworm

[He nods a little against the other boy.]

Of course. Take your time.

[He pushes himself up just so he could look at Otonashi. His face goes a little red when he realizes that he's lying on top of the other by now.]

Let me... make you something to eat. And some tea. And then when you feel better you can make a dinner for us or something. How does that sound?

[He's speaking faster than usually, but he really wants to make this as fair as possible without making Otonashi push himself.]

[ Otonashi is close enough to Ruca to feel the heat of the other teen’s face going red before he can process what he sees, Otonashi’s cheeks coloring over with softer notes of pink in turn. he might have squirmed or moved more if he had the strength for it, but in the absence of it he looks away, trying to collect himself enough to speak sensibly.

he can’t deny that the connection feels comfortable and that there is something to be said for the soothing effect of weight keeping him still.

how nice it would be to just stay like this and drift off again. ]

Tea..?

[ of all the things swirling about his head right now, Otonashi has to focus on just one: the simplest, and the most likely to get him speaking more easily and effectively. he quickly becomes intimately aware all over again of how dry his mouth feels. ]

Edited (me being all indecisive ahh) 2020-09-23 18:08 (UTC)

Then tea it is!

[He quickly stands up from the bed, but leaving Otonashi like this doesn't feel right. And so Ruca leans down and presses a very quick, soft kiss to the redhead's forehead.

And then he's gone, suddenly feeling nervous about everything. He tries to calm his heart, but it's not that easy.

Tea... he needs to make tea.]

Edited 2020-09-25 22:16 (UTC)

[ Ruca stands so quickly that Otonashi can’t help but to suspect some panic, though he never speaks about it directly, silenced with a tiny, chaste kiss left on his forehead. it’s sweet, innocent, and very characteristic of Ruca, he thinks.

the redhead is still for a minute or so, staring up at the ceiling more intently than he needs to and gripping and releasing the blankets to test his coordination and strength in minor ways.

it’s frustrating. revival never functioned like this, slow and partial and leaving him anything less than fully healed. when he manages to move one of his toes, Otonashi begins to maneuver himself to the edge of bed, so certain that if he could just make himself more mobile, maybe his body would sort itself out. is the problem a lack of circulation? his blood isn’t congealed in places, is it? what a miserable thought.

he has to contemplate this from the floor, where he inevitably ends up after falling. ]

If I have to actually die to function again, I’m going to... I don’t know, file a formal complaint...

[There's a happy smile on his face and a light blush as he enters the room... and quickly sheer terror overtakes his expression. Ruca almost drops the tea as he rushes towards Otonashi.

...Then he actually puts the mug on the nearest shelf before he kneels down, looking the other boy over with worry.]

A-are you okay? What happen?

[Gently, Ruca positions the other so it would be easier to lift him and then he carries him back to the bed.]

It looks like you still need more time...

[He is very worried.]

I fell when I tried to stand up.

[ that much is likely obvious from the way he’s positioned.

as Ruca moves in to shift him around, Otonashi shakes his head as if to insist against it, futile as the effort will likely be. he already troubles Ruca enough, but still the other teen gathers him up rather effortlessly.

curiously, a small patch of crystallization that had formed on his arms begins to dissolve when Ruca carries him off to bed. ]

I thought if I tried moving more, maybe I’d be able to feel my legs again. This isn’t how it’s supposed to work when we die! It was always pretty fast to revive, and with none of this weird soreness or numbness...

[ because dying and reviving is just a thing that happens enough for him to casually outline how it should be. ] I don’t get it...

Edited 2020-09-30 05:39 (UTC)

[Ruca looks at him, while cupping his own chin in thought. Then he sits on the bed and blushing, leans close to the other boy.]

I think this may work like everything else here...

[Meaning thy have to touch... a lot.

Since that confession happened, it somehow feels a little more awkward now, but Ruca still presses himself close to Otonashi and wraps his arms around him gently.]

I'll... stay like this for a while, okay?

[ Ruca’s conclusion is a sensible one, as much as he struggles with the thought of being hindered by it. he had nearly died of his own choice once, his body crystallizing and his consciousness leaving him shortly after a tall, pale, white-haired man appeared.

”Do you wish to survive?”

he remembers spitting a dry, sarcastic and inappropriate joke back.

shaking his head—shaking off the old memory—he settles his cheek against Ruca’s shoulder, the other teen’s white hair brushing against his skin and drawing a smile out of him. ]

Yeah... I thought I could figure it out by myself, but... thank you. [ Ruca is always so kind, thoughtful despite Otonashi’s reckless behavior. too thoughtful, too attached to forgive the man that had abducted him so long ago, even after Otonashi himself had. ]

Hey... Could I try again? [ he asks in a tone just above a whisper, never clarifying what he means. ]

[Ruca blinks against the other's shoulder, then pulls away just enough to give him a concerned look.]

I think it's too early for you to try and walk again.

[Obviously, this is what Otonashi means, right? Ruca fails to connect any other meanings to this soft request.]

What? No, not that again...

[ it would have helped if he had specified anything, but there’s no sense in lingering on it. ]

I worried you earlier. [ and he’s continuing to worry Ruca via not being able to walk, but that piece is outside of his control. leaning in a little closer, he brushes his cheek against Ruca’s in a sort of nuzzling motion. ]

That stupid misunderstanding we had? You thought I didn’t like you. So... can I try again?

[He's a little confused at first, before he starts blushing madly again. His heart rings in his ears.]

Ah, y-you'd like to...?

[They're so close and Ruca can't help but be very conscious of that now. If he moved just a bit, their lips could touch...]

S-sure.

[He isn't sure if he actually said that or not, but with a deep breath he shifts a little to bump his nose lightly against Otonashi's.]

Yeah... I want to give it another try.

[ the words come thoughtlessly and easily, and Otonashi soon finds that fine movements of his fingers through Ruca’s hair, subtle motions of continuing to nuzzle against Ruca’s skin come more easily when he doesn’t burden himself with racing thought.

if his body’s resources are limited, then the less he tries to do with it at one time, the more adequate he can be at the fewer things he focuses on.

hovering his lips over Ruca’s comes naturally and quickly, color blooming in his cheeks as he brushes them together. the moment he lingers, wondering if he had heard Ruca correctly, worrying if he truly can be better this second time and if he can get it right, he becomes less coordinated. his hands shake, his vision blurs.

he closes his eyes, not out of fear or disgust, but to focus. ]

I...

Edited 2020-10-04 12:57 (UTC)

[His heart is racing with nervousness and joy at the thought of another kiss. He'll try his best this time, he has to get better.

But Otonashi's reaction makes him pause and blink in confusion. Did he do something wrong?]

Hey... are you okay?

[He touches the other's face, gently running his fingers against the skin.]

We... don't have to do it if you don't want to.

[He worries.]

I mean, no, not exactly... [ he glances aside for a moment, his expression quickly becoming more vulnerable and pathetic as Ruca brushes his fingers along the redhead’s cheek. ]

My body isn’t working well, so I’m... having trouble coordinating. I don’t like that I have to focus so much to do simple things. But... it’s not because of you.

[ he leans in to touch his forehead to Ruca’s after quickly shaking his head. ] I want to do this.

[It's not because of you.

Ruca breathes out a little, as if relieved, then presses his forehead back with a soft smile on his face.]

Let's take it easy, okay? Or you can just relax until you feel better and I... [He pauses, blushing suddenly.]

..I-I... well...

[Words are difficult so... he leans close to press a soft kiss to Otonashi's lips.]

Yeah... [ truly, he thought he was taking things slowly and easily, potentially getting blood flowing throughout his body where it likely hadn’t been previously.

but then he had fallen on his face, bringing a swift end to him feeling normal. closing his eyes as Ruca sighs in relief, Otonashi only faintly feels the warmth in the other’s cheeks. ]

You... what? [ as he begins to open his eyes, Otonashi almost startles as Ruca’s lips meet his own; while he lacks reaction time, he has enough to settle a hand on the back of the other teen’s head, trying to gently encourage more of the same. more firmness, more kissing. it’s pleasant, warm. his fingers gently rake through Ruca’s hair, chaste and affectionate without distinctly pressuring him. ]

[The gentle encouragement is all he ever needs, really. It fight away his hesitance, helps him relax. He's still so very inexperienced but he's slowly figuring it out.

When he finally pulls away, he's still so close, his finger gently trace Otonashi's cheek accompanied by the loud beating of Ruca's heart.]

I can... do that until you feel better... [He mutters shyly, his gaze away because he can't look Otonashi in the eye. He's blushing too much for that.]

You know... [ it’s strange to consider that this is his first completely unhindered kiss. only now is he completely himself, with neither his personality nor his thoughts warped by rampant effects of the world itself.

pulling away enough to face Ruca more directly, he rests his hand gently over the other teen’s. ]

I don’t have any objections to a few more of those. I’ll do as much as I can, too. If I’m not doing something, it’s, ah... probably only because I can’t yet.

[ brushing his nose against Ruca’s, Otonashi is content to close his eyes and rest against him for a moment, basking in the warmth of it. ]

Don't worry about it. I.... I don't really know if I'm doing this right so I should probably apologize for that...

[A soft laugh makes it past his lips, his face bright-red. He can feel his heart jumping in his chest.

There's so much warmth in this moment, that Ruca finds himself thinking that he could stay like this forever. Otonashi probably wouldn't want that though, so the boy quickly dismisses the thought.

They'll have so many more moments in the future, moments better than this. Just like in books. Or better. That's what Ruca wants to believe.

So he closes his eyes and leans in again, with another soft kiss.]

I— I really don’t have any room to judge. [ he brushes with admitting his own strange circumstances that had led him to kiss others in the past, coming out more confused for having done so each time. while the thought never synthesizes into words, there’s a slight break in his peaceful demeanor that gives way to a twist of worry.

rather than linger on it, Otonashi leans a little closer, meeting Ruca halfway for another gentle kiss. he is himself. he isn’t plagued by the moon, or obligation, or the call of migrating dragons. while their lips meet and his fingers comb through Ruca’s hair, Otonashi gives himself completely to it, only parting enough to speak. ]

Hey, one more thing..? I should have told you back then, but I had... a lot on my mind. My name is Yuzuru. I... needed a little time to accept it. And my nightmare—my memories.

[Isn't Otonashi the experienced one? shouldn't Ruca feel bad for being the way he is? Obviously, all those things don't matter the moment their lips press again.

Then, there it is. The name. Ruca blinks at first, then his eyes shine a little. So far everybody has been calling Otonashi just, well "Otonashi". But now Ruca feels like he received a special privilege.

His heart beats faster.]

Yuzuru.

[He tries to say the name, shyly at first. Then he smiles.]

It's okay, I understand. But... ah, I'm just... really glad.

[He's so happy he wants to say the name "Yuzuru" over and over again.]

Yeah.

[ even now, his own name feels somewhat alien and unfamiliar, not so unlike the memories Otonashi had fought to reject when Ruca encountered him so long ago.

but just like the memories of his abbreviated life, it is his to own. resting gently against Ruca, Otonashi idly brushes some of his silvery hair away from his face, comfortably settling. ]

You are? [ he can’t help but laugh softly, sheepishly. ] If I had known it would make you so happy, I would have told you a lot sooner. Thanks for, ah... being patient with me.

[ since so few seem to be. ]

I am.

[His words are soft and he leans closer to brush his nose lightly against Otonashi's.]

It makes me feel special... [A small chuckle follows.]

And don't thank me. You've always been very patient with me, too.

[And he's grateful for that as well.]

You are special. [ he fires back quickly, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world and, by extension, anyone would be utterly ridiculous to even question it.

Otonashi can’t help himself, giving in to the urge to ruffle Ruca’s hair and rest his chin on the other teen’s shoulder, his breath coming in warm waves against Ruca’s skin as he laughs. ]

Too late, I already did. And, you know what else?

[He laughs again, happy. It feels good to have Otonashi close and to not see him worry about anything.

...And Ruca would lie to himself if he said he wasn't happy about being "special".

He presses close to the other boy, resting his head close to the other's neck as he asks the question:]

Hm? What else?

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oh no I guess they’ll have to cuddle more and maybe kiss again, a tragedy

a beautiful tragedy

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