demonicbookworm

[Ruca stands in front of Otonashi, then turns around and crouches.]

Hop onto my back.

[He's getting a little irritated now (thanks Sanguis), so he just makes it sound like Otonashi doesn't have any other choice.]

[ Otonashi thinks he may have heard a shred of frustration, so he forces himself to move closer to Ruca—

only to tap him on the shoulder and continue trying to move forward on his own, a slight limp evident. ]

I know you’re eager to be home, I’ll pick up the pace.

[He pouts, then moves towards Otonashi and with a frown on his face, he scoops him up into his arms.]

...I didn't want to do it this way, but you're giving me no other choice.

[He's sorry for this, but Otonashi is not feeling well, so Ruca will carry him no matter if the other likes it or not!]

[ he expects some mild protest, maybe a complaint or insistence that he should be taking it easier or going slow. these all seem like things that Ruca might do.

he does not expect to be lifted off the ground and held in Ruca’s arms, and he’s quick to squirm and shake his head. ]

How am I not giving you another choice?! I said I’d pick up the pace! What, do you want me to sprint..?!

No, I want you to think about yourself.

[He's glaring a little that looks more adorable than anything else, combined with his dog ears.]

You need rest, so leave getting us home to me.

I was thinking about you. But since you’ve decided you’d be fine smelling like hot garbage, and you’re so determined that yeah, this is the thing to be stubborn about...

[ he could put up more of a fight than that, but Ruca’s glare surprisingly works to the other teen’s benefit in this case.

probably not for the reason he intended, though. ]

You’re lucky you’re cute, you know that? [ with a frustrated huff, he flips one of those puppy ears with the back of his hand. ] ... I like your ears.

[that makes his face go bright red and he looks away. He never stops walking though.]

C-cute?! I-I'm not...

[Why can't he be cool for once? Why is it always cute. His ears flatten a little.]

I can’t tell if you’re saying that because you’re embarrassed, or if you’re saying it because you don’t like the changes, or that it’s me saying it...

[ it could feasibly be any of the above, so he fixes Ruca’s ear back into place. ]

Don’t worry about it, I’ll keep my comments to a minimum.

[His ear twitches lightly.]

It's... just that I want to be cool, not cute.

[He glances at Otonashi.]

Everybody seems to see me as a child.

[That's why they call him cute, right?]

... Ah? [ of all the other responses he might have expected, that was, again, not one of them. he meets Ruca’s eyes for a moment, scratching idly at his own cheek in thought. ]

I mean, I said it because you were being cranky and have these dog ears on top of it. And I think you’re... I don’t know, pretty pure? Innocent?

[ which is kinder than saying inexperienced, he thinks, though both feel true, at least in a social context. clearly Ruca has seen battle if he carries weaponry around. ]

But you came all the way out here to help me get home, and you invited me into your home on kind of a leap of faith. I mean, I could’ve been a real jerk to you, and you still gave me a chance.

[ Otonashi shoots the other teen a smile, mussing his bangs a little, the motion playful. ]

That’s pretty much the coolest thing you could do for someone. I don’t know if that’s the kind of cool you were hoping for, but...

[He has to blush some more.]

I'm really not... not much anyway.

[He would argue that having a previous life gave him a lot of various memories. Yet none of them are his experiences, so Otonashi is not wrong at all.]

...You're just saying that because you want me to feel better.

[He doesn't mind the playful musing of his hair, but he still lets yet another sigh.]

And the ears, and my attitude are caused by Sanguis moon.

No, I’m saying that because I know how hard it is.

[ keeping his gaze trained on Ruca, he crosses one of his arms over his chest defensively. ]

Ignoring people and locking everyone out is the safe thing to do. A life lived only for yourself is the easiest way to be. Nothing can hurt you if you don’t care about anything.

[ he can file away the information about the moon-related changes for later; useful, but not important in the moment. ] So you can blow me off if you want, that’s up to you. But I’m speaking from experience.

[That hits him. Ruca frowns slightly, remembering his past, before he met Iria and the others.]

I was just like that, too. I... would lock myself up in my room, staying away even from my parents.

[Then everything changed. He met his friends, discovered his lost memories, run away from army. So much has happened.]

I don't want to be like that ever again.

... See? And now you want to be a doctor. You’re going to get out of here, and you’re going to do it.

[ his expression softens, his smile bright—but edged out with a quiet melancholy he can’t completely suppress. ]

I think... that’s pretty damn cool.

[He blushes, unsure what to do with all the praise.]

...I think you're exaggerating but... thank you.

[for calling him cool.]

You can think whatever you want. Just remember what I said.

[ fixing Ruca’s hair just as he’d fixed his little dog ear, Otonashi folds both his hands and settles them over his stomach. ]

And remember what you said, too. About not being like that ever again.

[ he moves to open his mouth to say something more, but seems to think better of it and looks away with an uneasy shift. ]

I will... don't worry about that.

[He notices that Otonashi wanted to say something else, but he doesn't pry. They can get all the time to talk later, when they finally reach home.]

[ several minutes pass before he finally gathers both the courage and orientation to finally ask the question that had been nagging at him from the moment he laid eyes upon Ruca. the other teen speaking freely about some of his background and his current feelings had hushed his question, but in the absence of chaos and high emotions, the redhead looks out at the world as they move through it rather than facing Ruca directly. ]

... This is real, right? You? What we’re doing right now, it’s... real?

[When he hears Otonashi says that, he can't help but wonder yet again about what happened to his roommate.]

It's all real, I promise.

[ going silent again, Otonashi goes between staring at his own folded hands, to staring at Ruca, to looking around again. his expression shifts, cycling through a range of troubled looks before finally settling on a quiet sort of acceptance. ]

And you can’t feel what I’m thinking. [ a pause as he worries, fidgeting with his hands, and then: ] Right?

[Ruca feels completely lost, but he responds quickly:]

I can't.

[Deep concern shows on his face and brings Otonashi a little closer to himself.]

...Why are you asking?

Edited 2020-07-05 18:20 (UTC)

Just to be sure.

[ which is a complete non-answer, he knows, but any other answer would have likely encouraged more worrying. he can feel Ruca holding him a little more tightly, so he manages to flash the other boy a smile, shaking his head. ]

Sorry, I’m not trying to scare you.

[Ruca nods.]

You'll... have to tell me what happened. You know that, right?

[Otherwise, he'll still worry.]

... If you promise me two things.

[ meeting Ruca’s eyes again, he searches for any signs of faltering despite not yet laying out his terms. Otonashi starts with the easiest: ]

One, you can’t let it get to you. Don’t despair over what’s already done.

[It... sounds so bad already. Ruca's brows are knit together.]

...And what's the second thing?

Inbox

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)